Learning the Hard Way
by Dancergirl51
Summary: I should have learned by now. All of it. But, I haven’t. I’m human, right? Or, not, depending on how you look at it... I’m Jamie. This is my story. Don’t skip it. Karina has worked hard. Full summary inside. Yours truly, M.G.
1. In Which I Stupidly Open My Mouth

**This is my first X-Man fanfiction, so please be nice! But, ****I could use any constructive criticism, as long as it's not hate-mail. Flames, I guess are ok, so long as it's constructive and helpful...**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. It's not mine in any way, shape, or form. Just M.G. and a few characters you have yet to meet!**

**One last note, this fanfiction does _not _follow any normal timeline. The main characters are all over the place in the comics.**

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_Learning the Hard Way  
Dancergirl51_

_Summary: Jamie is learning what goes on at the X-Mansion. She has a past that she would like to forget. Jamie holds it all in. She has a problem ignoring people when they are talking to her. Her thoughts run wild and are funny at times. It's told from Jamie's perspective. Italics are, for the most part, thoughts. Either Jamie's or Mara's or someone else's. Depends on the context. And I am awful at writing summaries, they always sound bad/ Mary Sueish. It's better in the chapters, and gets better as the story progresses, I guarantee it.

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_Chapter 1: In Which I Stupidly Open my Mouth_

You would think I'd have learned by now to keep my mouth shut. You'd think so, but you are wrong.

I look at the crowd, glad I am not a part of it from my position to the side. The trees surrounding the crowd are thick and dark. The open air makes it seem a little calmer than what it actually is. The response that hasn't been generated yet has boosted my confidence. Usually these... rallies have the energy that kids have in candy shops right from the start. "Can't you see?" I interrupt the speaker. "We're just- they're just like us!"

Ooops. My bad. That slight slip of the tongue is all the people nearest me need- they start moving away at an alarming speed. It's as if I just announced I have a flesh-eating skin disease. My cheeks grow warm and I feel my temper rising. _Calm down,_ I remind myself. _This is why you're here._

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I instantly know someone's watching me. I leave the edge of the crowd, and head away from them. "That's the last time I go to an anti-mutant rally." I mutter under my breath.

Someone is now following me. I start to run, and I can hear my pursuer following me, pushing past anyone who's in his way. I start sprinting, but they're closing the small gap. I glance behind me, and instantly recognize my stalker. Creed. Victor Creed.

The gap between us gets smaller... smaller... smaller... He pounces.

_Aw, come on!_ I leap into the air and take flight, my blonde hair flying in the wind, now surrounded by trees. I don't want to fly, but it's the only way to get out of there alive. I look over my shoulder, as I am now so far above him he cannot possibly reach me.

And... he's fighting. A man with metal claws is fighting the man I despise with a force otherwise unknown to me. I watch, midair, the fight below me.

Go, go, go, metal dude! I fly away, as fast as I can, hoping that the metal clawed guy won the fight. He should have, that's for sure, from what I saw.

If you have ever flown before, you know there is a slight problem with flying.

It... tires... you... out.

And I fall to the ground, in the middle of the forest, moss cushioning my fall. The world goes black in seconds.

* * *

The thing with falling unconscious is no matter how many times it happens, you are always confused when you wake up.

This is especially true when you fall unconscious in a forest, and wake up in a room that's white, smells clean and is most certainly not where you fell unconscious.

It's a curious thing, white walls. They are so plain. They have always annoyed me.

I get up from the bed I am laying upon. I look around the room, wondering where in God's name I could be. The perimeter of the room is completely metal machinery. _Whatever those are for, I won't know,_ I assure my beating heart. I walk towards the door, slowly. I carefully monitor the room for any moving machines. Or cameras. I look out the window in the door. Nobody's there, and nobody's coming. I scan the room one last time. There are no other doors. Or windows. I open it, and start creeping through the hall. I am doing a fine job, if I may say so myself.

Until a door opens.

The door that I just _happen_ to be walking past. And, of course, it's not someone I know. I do the only thing I can think of; I start to run.

"Wait!"

Run, run, run, run, run, my mind screams.

"I am not going to hurt you."

Right, of course you're not. I continue running.

I don't make it far. In fact, I am stopped almost at once.

"I thought I said to stop." He grabs my arm.

I pull it from him. "I won't." I start running again. _Where is the exit to this place? Shouldn't they have emergency exit signs? If this isn't an emergency, waking up in a place I normally avoid, what is?_

He follows alongside me. Have I mentioned I run pretty fast? "Where are you going?" He asks me, coolly.

"Somewhere else."

"Where?"

"Anywhere."

"Answer me." The man gives me an air of being someone people don't usually fight. And the look he's giving me is murderous.

"Give me five good reasons." I am acting childish, yeah, but I'm never seeing him again, so what's the point.

He extends his metal claws. "Oops. That's six." He mocks.

"You're—you're—you attacked Creed!" I stammer, skidding to a halt on the gray-blue tiles. _Have I mentioned how much I hate white walls?_

"Yeah, I did."

"I-I-"

" Jean? Good, you're here."

A woman with very red hair came up behind me without my noticing. "Hi, Logan," she grins. She turns to me.

I glare at her sharply. "Stay—outta—my—head!" I yell and shoot her with telekinetic energy to make her retract her psychic presence, and I build another mental barricade.

"A telekinetic?" ' Logan' asks.

"Apparently." Jean picks herself up calmly.

"Where's the front door?"

"Why?" Jean looks confused.

"Kid thinks she's leaving."

Needless to say, I panic. "Why can't I? What do you want from me?" I screech loudly. "You are just like them, the-"

" Logan, maybe you should leave us alone for a bit."

"But-"

" Logan!" I can hear the hidden threat in her voice and I can feel the psychic energy in the room.

Logan growls, but disappears. "Let's try this again. Hi, I'm Jean Grey. What's your name?"

"Why can't I leave?" I'm hysterical.

"What's your name?"

"Why?"

"Your name, first."

" Jamie." I spit with contempt.

"Your other name?"

"I thought I said to stay out of my head?" I hiss.

"I meant your codename, but if you're lying about being Jamie, you might as well tell me now. It'll save you trouble."

"My name's Jamie." I repeat.

"What about your codename?"

"M.G."

"M.G?"

"Mind Games," I grin, and then glare at her. "Why can't I leave?"

"You can, I just want you to talk to a friend of mine first."

I flip out. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God." I repeat. "No, I won't talk to him! Your friend will-"

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?" A voice behind me asks. _Question: how have two people snuck up behind me in a matter of minutes, when I can usually never be snuck up on? Have they drugged me?_

"Why should I?"

_'I want you to join my school.' _His voice comes into my head loud and clear.

_'Of course. A school. For mutants, right? That's what they called the last place I was at, too.' _I send back. _'And stay out of my head! What's with entering my head around here?' _

I leap, about to take flight, when I am caught, midair by a force I can't fight. Jean has her hand out, and is focusing on me. If I could just enter her head and re-arrange-

" Jamie, I'll let you down if you promise to listen."

I sigh. I send both the professor and Jean flying away from me with a single telepathic blast. The choice is either be nice to the creep-o in the wheelchair or survive. Guess which I chose?

Logan catches up to me in seconds. "Where are we going?"

_"We?"_ I rage.

"Professor X asked me to follow you." _And talk to you, _he adds to himself, mentally. "After blacking out, you can't be feeling too good right now."

"I'm fine."

"Of course you are."

"Why do you listen to him?" I'm still sprinting, trying to get away from him. Although, Logan seems to be having no problem at the pace we are at. I, however, start panting slightly. _Who is this guy, and why is he so fast?_

"He's never given me a reason not to."

"Why do you stay?"

"Hmmm." He fakes deep thought. "Free food, clothing, bedding, a room to beat stuff up in, classes, understanding, a life…" he lists. " It beats running away."

"What—is—this place?" I breathe, motioning to the never-ending hallway, the white walls and the oddly placed blue-gray X's on the ground.

"The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. A school… for mutants."

"Why does he want me?" I can feel myself liking this guy… against my better judgment. He's like me—tough. And unfriendly.

"So Magneto can't use you."

I visibly flinch at the name. " Logan?"

"Wolverine."

"What?"

"Call me Wolverine." The cold edge to his voice does _not_ go unnoticed, thank you very much.

" Jamie."

"Codename?"

"M.G. Mind Games."

"Nice."

"Anyway, Wolverine?"

"Yeah?"

"I should stay?" I ask his opinion, even though I already know it.

"Honestly?" I nod. "You'd be stupid not to."

* * *

I am taken to a new room off of the eternal hallway. It's small and has three large desks in it, God only knows why, but they're there, let me tell you. Here, I am told a little about the school. "The necessities," a man says. He studies me carefully, or I assume he's watching me. Though with those geeky glasses I'm not sure. Then we begin.

The first part of "application" is the fact that because this school houses so many runaways, the professor makes it a rule that the legal guardians have to know where you are attending school. In other words, I have to call them.

_That_ is a cheerful conversation.

"Hi, Sam. This is Jamie." I pace around the room, on the cordless phone they let me borrow. "The mutant foster kid you got stuck with? I'm going to a boarding school… No, it's in New York… No, it's for mutants… No, you can't visit… No, I won't come home for breaks… No, I won't call again…" Wow. Sam sure can act well.

After Sam and John let me hang up, and know which state I am in, I am told to take a questionnaire. The professor, however, is too busy to give it to me.

"This is Scott 'Cyclops' Summers. Please give him your application when you're done filling it out." He tells me.

"Aha, so Cyclops wears _fashionable_ glasses. I got it now!" I say mock-serious. I am handed a ten page packet, instead. I fill it out to the best of my abilities.

Name: Choose one: Jamie Callahan, Jamie Johnson, Katrin Brown, or Kayla Morgan

Codename: M.G. (Mind Games) 

Date of Birth: ? Either in 1993 or 1989

Place of Birth: Not sure. USA, presumably.

Residence: Debatable. According to the state, it's: 390 Oak Road, Bradley, PA,

Powers: Mind control, telekinesis, mind-reading, flying, etc.

It continues in a similar manner: it asking questions, me not giving direct answers. I hand it to Scott and start to leave the room. "Wait," That's a command. Ouch. Bad move, Scott. Strike one. "What's your name?"

"I don't know."

"What do people call you?"

"M.G."

"Other than that."

" Jamie."

" Jamie, what?" He's exasperated.

"I have gone by many names. Pick one." I spit.

He moves on. "Where were you born?"

"Pick a city."

"What state, at least," Scott's almost begging.

"Pick one."

"Professor!" Scott yells and storms out of the room. Childish, much? He returns, minutes later, with a tired-looking professor, a smirking Wolverine, and a woman introduced as Ororo "Storm" Monroe.

"She has left her application blank. Or, at least, it's essentially blank." He hands over the paper. Wolverine's smirk grows larger as he reads over the shoulder of the wheelchair-bound man.

" Scott, I think you are overreacting. Miss—um... uh... Jamie. Are you being intentionally obtuse?"

"No-"

"Or insubordinate?"

"No. My name's Jamie. I am born in the USA sometime between the years 1985-1995. It has been calculated more recently at 1993 and 1989, if that helps."

" See, Scott?"

"She's lying." False accusation: strike two.

"Am I? I'm sorry, I was unaware." I smirk at him.

"Was I lying?" Wolverine cuts in. Scott stops talking.

"What grade did you last complete?" Storm asks me.

"Grade?" I echo.

"In school?"

"School?" I laugh. _"School?"_

"Yes, it's a law, you know." She smiles.

"I don't remember going to 'school.' " _As you know it, _I mentally add.

"What do you-?"

"Oh, come on! What's the probability that she _doesn't_ know her name, her age, her school yea-" I snap. I use telekinetic energy to slam Scott into a wall. Strike three. I smile.

"_That's_ the probability."

Storm rushes over to look at Scott.

" Jamie, that was highly unadvisable. You _must_ refrain from doing that any further." The Professor pauses, deep in thought. "Why don't we take a placement test to find your grade? Tomorrow morning, after a team Danger Room session. Is that okay?"

"Sure," I say, almost laughing. I thought I would have gotten in trouble, at least.

" Logan, please take Jamie to Marie's room. We'll talk… later."

"I don't like him," I defend my self, as Wolverine takes me into an elevator.

He doesn't say anything. He takes me up a few floors and to a room. "Here."

I knock on the door. A girl opens the door. Her hair is dark brown with a white streak in it. She's about my size, but I'm slightly taller.

"Your roommate, Rogue. Have fun." He says, and leaves. Of course. He leaves me with her. A girl in a skirt. _Great._

"I'm Rogue. Anna Marie, actually."

" Jamie."

"I didn't know I was getting a roommate! Where's your stuff?"

I point at myself. "What you see is what you get."

* * *

**Please bear with me as I post some more chapters. It gets better, in my opinion. If you hate it, tell me in a polite way. If you like it, please tell me so. If I have anything so horribly wrong, please tell me. I'll fix it. Thanks for your support and help!**

**Dancergirl51**


	2. In Which School Starts

**After many personal problems and... um... let's go with... "battling my deepest fear..." twice... I have decided to update. Love me forever.**

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_Chapter 2: In Which School Starts _

"Nice hair," I say, as she lets me in our room.

"It's, uh, natural."

I stare, fingering my straight, blonde, one-color hair. "Huh?"

"Never mind. You must be tired. How far did you come?" Rogue brushes me off.

I think for a minute. "I'm not sure. I was unconscious at the time."

"Oh, okay. Well, do you need anything? Pajamas, maybe?"

"That would be great, uh, Anna Marie." 

"Rogue," she corrects.

"Rogue."

* * *

I wake up the next morning, and Rogue is already up, and moving about ready to leave. She's wearing a black T-shirt that says, "Don't blink. You might miss me," black gloves that reach above her elbows and jeans.

"Where are you going?"

"Danger Room," she explains.

"Danger Room… Danger Room…" I think for a minute. That was against Creed's motto. I inwardly cringe. "I'm supposed to go to a 'team Danger Room session.' What's that?"

She stops moving. "That's where I have to go. I'll wait, if you hurry up."

"Okay." I grab my clothes from yesterday and turn back towards her. "Isn't it a little hot for all that?"

"Not for me. The bathroom is through there. I'll be right back."

For the first time in over a month, I am taking a shower. It's odd, really. When I exit the shower, a pair of pants and a T-shirt that says, "You wish you were me," on it replaced my old clothes.

"Thanks Rogue," I say as I re-enter the dorm room.

"We're late!" She says.

"What-?"

Rogue opens the door and starts racing through the halls. We reach the elevator and we step in.

"Late, late, late-" She's obviously disturbed. I am tapping my foot.

_Late. Late. Late. Late. Run. Run. Run. Late. Late. Late._ _Late is bad. Don't be late. Go, go, go, go, go- _

BAMF! A fuzzy blue elf-like person shows up next to Rogue, much to Rogue's delight.

_Late. Late. Late._ I continue to sing to myself.

"Entschuldigung, Fräulein. I thought eet was empty."

" Kurt!" She squeals. "At least we're late together."

"Nein. I vas looking for you."

"Oh."

We make it to the floor with white walls that I was in last night. Kurt BAMFs away, and Rogue and I continue running.

"Welcome to the Danger Room," Rogue halts.

We enter the room.

"Yer late." Wolverine growls.

"Sorry," I cringe.

"Don't be. Now that everyone's here, what's the first rule in the Danger Room?"

"Stick together as a team." Everyone choruses. I roll my eyes.

"And we can't do that without names. I'm Wolverine."

"Hey. I'm Bobby, or Iceman."

"Nightcrawler." Kurt bows slightly.

"Jubilation Lee, but everyone calls me Jubilee," she smiles, blue eyes twinkling.

"Rogue, of course."

"Kitty, or Shadowcat," she has a quiet voice.

"I'm Colossus, or Peter." He grins.

"I'm Alison, or Magma."

"I'm Jamie. Or M.G."

"What's the second rule?" Wolverine asks, to silence. "Get out before yer hurt. This, M.G, is a simulation room. It's very advanced. You can always shut the simulation down or leave if things get out of hand. There are safeties that will hold up, but never forget you can leave. However, if you stick as a team, more often than not, you won't have to leave. All good?"

We all nod.

"Simulation commencing. Simulation 01958. Begin." A disembodied voice says.

Instantly, we are surrounded by a smell. It appears that we are now in a sewer. _Simulation, simulation,_ I remind myself. Soldiers surround us and we start to fight. I don't notice much of our surroundings except for the team members. Iceman can freeze people and do really cool things like shoot ice picks at the soldiers. Rogue can throw people really far and into walls. Nightcrawler can teleport to people to kick them, and teleport away so he can't be hit. Jubilee can shoot fireworks from her hands. Colossus throws or punches people. (Both methods are equally effective.) Kitty can walk through people and rearrange their insides or something like that. I decide I don't want to know. I pick up people, telekinetically, and throw them into the ceiling, walls, or floor, depending on how close they are to me.

This whole fighting thing goes on, and Wolverine has, somehow, disappeared in the chaos. I can't find him.

He appears, half an hour later. "End simulation."

The sewers and soldiers fade away.

"Good work. I'll see you here tomorrow. Class dismissed. Jamie, wait for a minute."

Everyone leaves, and Wolverine takes me to another room. _Does this place ever end?_ It's empty except for a desk and Jean. Wolverine leaves, again.

"You're here to take a placement test. Is that alright?" She asks me.

"Sure."

She gives me a four-page test. "Only answer the questions you know. We do not expect you to answer them all."

I look at her.

"Begin."

I instantly pick up a pen and delve into her thoughts. I need to answer a quarter of the questions to be in the freshman class, half of them to be a sophomore, three quarters to be a junior, and almost all of them to be a senior. I retreat from her mind, and begin the test.

"With anyone else, you'd have gotten away with it."

"Away with what?" I ask, innocently.

"Reading my mind."

"I didn't do anything," I defend, stupidly.

"I know what information you took. Here's another test. Try this one."

This one is eight pages long. I pick up my pen and begin, dejectedly. It takes me a full hour to finish the test. I work out every single science question, almost all of the math, a couple of English questions, and none of the history questions.

I hand Jean my test and wait as she looks it over. She glances up at me, confused. "You have _exceeded_ a senior grade in science, _made_ a senior grade in math, got a freshman level in English, and your History grade is incalculable." She raises an eyebrow. "This is odd."

The Professor decides this is a good time to interrupt. He comes in and looks at us. "I do not know where to put you." _And usually the math and science scores are lowest, _he thinks.

"Can I be in the freshman class?" I have to stop myself from making him ask me to be in the freshman class.

"Huh?"

"That's where Rogue and all them are, right?" He nods, smiling. "Then I would like to be there."

"I don't think that would benefit you."

"Could she work with me?" Jean asks.

"That's an idea. Jamie, Jean is a medical doctor for the X-Men. Would you like to work with her in place of a math and science class? You would be in all of the same classes as the freshmen for all the other classes."

"I would like that." I consider.

"You'll have an extra class, with me. A… 'Relaxation' class because of your… stint… with Scott last night."

"An anger management class?"

"In essentials."

I laugh. A few moments later, when I notice he's serious, I start a coughing fit. "Okay," I concede, knowing "no" would not get me any brownie points.

Jean hands me a schedule. "Would you like a tour?"

"Yes."

"Good," she smiles. Why she smiles, I don't know. Just that she does.

* * *

After my tour of the entire mansion, including the "subbasement" where God only knows what goes on, Jean stops off at a room and opens the door for me.

"This is your English class with Dr. McCoy."

"Right."

I enter, feeling foolish. I study the blue furry man, as he watches me.

"May I help you?"

"Sure." I am intentionally difficult this time.

"_How_ may I help you?"

"You can teach me English."

He falters. "I didn't know I would have a new student."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know I would become one." I defend myself.

"You can sit next to Bobby." He turns to the chalkboard.

_"Who?" _

Iceman laughs. "Me." I take my seat, and proceed to zone out.

_This is boring. You should make Dr. McCoy do cartwheels. _

No, I would get in trouble.

_So? _

No.

_Come on, you know you want to. _

I don't want to be kicked out.

_Come on! _

No.

_Come on! _

NO.

_Please? _

"NO!" I yell, oblivious to my surroundings.

I open my eyes, then, and notice that everyone is looking at me. I stand up, and calmly walk out of the classroom. Why did she come up in class? Why? Why? Stupid Mara.

Great. Now everyone thinks I'm weird.

I walk down the hall. In quick thinking, I decide not to go back to class. I mean, come on. How much can I learn in fifteen minutes?

_Do _not_ answer that, Mara. _

I open the nearest door to me, wanting to relax a little before I have to go to History with Storm. The room I enter is occupied with a girl with fangs tearing apart raw meat with a fury I have only ever seen in Creed.

Needless to say, I leave the room quickly.

I look through a window of another door, and I see a red smoke clouds. I keep moving.

Before long, I am lost. Yes, I have had a tour, and yes, I said I knew where I was going. I lied, okay? I sit down on the hardwood floor, and hug my knees. Someone will come and find me soon, right?

Or maybe Storm won't know I am coming. Maybe people thought I left. Maybe they will get mad at me. Maybe I'll get in major trouble.

I rock back and forth. It'll be okay.

_You're psychic. _

Yes.

_You can make people find you. _

Yes, I know.

_You can always come back. _

Okay, Mara. Just this once, I agree sadly.

I instantly lose control. I feel like someone hit me on the head—hard. I close my eyes as they start to tear. I know, although there is no mirror, that my eyes have turned from a light blue with a green ring around the pupil to a dark brown, almost black.

And I forget who I am.

* * *

" Jean!" _Thank God you're here! _I look around at the hallway. I am still sitting on the ground. Apparently, I haven't moved.

"You told me to come," she laughs.

"I-I did?" I mentally beat myself over the head. "I did. I can't find Storm's class!"

"History?"

"Of course, History." I think for a minute. "Am I late?"

"Don't you know?"

"Know? Know what?" I panic. Jean must have this effect on people. Or, at least, me.

"The time?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Oh, I, uh, forgot."

"The time. You forgot the time. You are aware, I hope, that there are clocks in every hallway?" She says, skeptically.

"Uh-"

"_And_ you are wearing a watch."

"Well, I forgot all that. I _am_ kind of lost, here," I point out. "Am I late?"

"Class started four minutes ago."

I screech to a halt. "I-I'm _late_?"

"Yes, but don't worry-"

"I'M LATE?"

"Um…"

_Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. I so cannot be late! Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go- _

"Why can't you be late?"

"Cree—no reason." I slow down physically, but my heart is still going a mile a minute. _Wait—did I say that aloud? _

"Storm won't get mad, you know. She's fair."

"Right."

* * *

"And after that, Stalin…"

My brain is, effectively, mush. Who's Stalin? Why's he important? Maybe I should ask a question…

The bell rings, ending my torture and confusion. "I need that homework. And Alison, don't burn it!" She calls out the warning as we rush to the door.

"Another day in the life of a mutant." I listen to the voice, but I can't name it. It's someone I know. Who the person is, that's the problem.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it! I am liking it so far!!! (Though I know how the next five chapters turn out.)**

**Dancergirl51**


	3. In Which A Letter Changes Things

**Hey. I am updating. Again. I have nothing better to do. ****Okay, that's a lie. I have a lot of work I should be doing. Should and are are two different things.**

**Quote: In life as in dance, Grace glides on blistered feet. - Alice Abrams**

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_Chapter 3: In Which A Letter Changes Things_

"Now, we have half an hour to eat before Scott's Mechanics class." 

"Not me," I correct. "I have class now."

"What class?"

"It's with Jean." I reach out and touch her arm. "I have—" I gasp, and can't move.

She jerks away and screams. " Logan! Jean! Help!" 

I fade to black.

* * *

Remember what I said about falling unconscious? It _never_ fails.

When I wake up, Rogue, Wolverine, Storm, and Jean are there, hovering over me. I quickly glance around, dazed. Great. I am back in white-walls central.

"What happened?" I ask Rogue. The last thing I remember is telling Rogue I don't have Scott's class. Did she knock me out? Is she mental?

"No," Jean answers my thoughts. Gah! Her psychic abilities!

Rogue turns to face the wall, her back to everyone else. "When I have skin-to-skin contact with anyone, I take away their life force. I put the first boy I ever kissed in a coma. If I touch a mutant, I steal their powers. The first mutant I touched had superhuman strength and the ability to fly. I have never been able to return those powers…" She shakes slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Rogue, it's not your fault!" Wolverine growls while I say, "I'm sorry, Rogue."

She starts running out of the room, Wolverine quickly following. "There's something else, Jamie." Storm adds, quietly.

"What?"

"She doesn't always know how to control the powers she takes…" she pauses, and takes a deep breath. "She made Magma burn down half the school."

"When?" I am surprisingly calm for someone who has just aided in the burning down of their home and school.

"During the fifteen minutes you were unconscious."

"Wow. Did anyone get hurt?"

"Not severely. Bobby put an ice dome around himself, Colossus, Kitty, and Rogue. Alison was safely out of the way. Jubilee, however, was hit. She's not badly, but she has a few scratches."

Great. This is perfect. If only I could have done something… warned someone… told someone…

" Jamie, this isn't your fault, either." I forgot that psychic was there. Why is she so good? She picks up on _everything_.

I mentally build three more walls.

"I know. I just feel… helpless." I think this is the kind of stuff Jean wants to hear from me. If only Creed could see me now…

Scratch that. I'm _glad_ he can't see me now. I would be dead in a heartbeat—or lack of—if I had ever said that.

"She'll be better by Friday." Wait a minute. Today is Monday. Do mutants heal faster here?

"She's not that bad, M.G. She just needs time to regenerate."

I sigh in relief.

Rogue re-enters the room. "It'll be okay." She laughs it off. "It always is."

The only thing I can think of is _how cheesy_. The only thing I say is "oh."

* * *

Back in the dorm that night, Rogue has some interesting things to tell me.

"You have no control over your powers."

"Yes I do."

"No, you don't."

"Yes I do."

"No, you don't."

"Then how come you were asked to use 'your' powers?" I realize my mistake too late. I fell right into her trap.

She opens her mouth.

"You're good." I tell her.

She grins. "You need to talk to the Professor. He'll help."

"What if I don't want to? What if I can handle it myself?"

"I dunno… 'Mara' seemed powerful to me. Plus, I guess I am holding a trump card here. Either you go, or I go for you. You wanna choose?"

That evil girl. Using the name only proved she was telling the truth. She's good.

"I'll do it," I agree.

* * *

"Things will get better. It always starts like this. Only on rare occasions does one know how to control their powers to begin with." Professor X tells me.

"Starts like what?"

"A… mishap."

"You don't even want to know how I found out I was a mutant, then," I assure the old man.

"If you are willing, I will listen."

"I'm not."

"That's fine."

"I-" just realized something. "Rogue is right—I am a danger to you guys."

"You're not-"

"I just realized something. We are talking telepathically. If I am using my powers unconsciously even in little things…" I let my sentence hang unfinished.

Professor Xavier looks at me carefully. Run! The bunny in my head screams. I bolt.

I've learned to trust the bunny.

* * *

I wake up to a girl pounding on the dorm room door. "What do you want?" I ask the little girl.

"Are you Jamie? M.— M.G.?" She looks everywhere but at me.

"Yeah."

"Here." She shoves an envelope at me and practically sprints away. Rogue and I must have made quite the impression on the little kids with our… antics yesterday.

I look at the envelope. It's simple. White with curly writing. To anyone else it would seem kind. I am angered. I most certainly did _not_ tell her where Xavier's school is. How did she get the address?

I seek out the professor.

"Did you call my foster parents?" I accuse.

"You did not leave the number with anyone. No one could have."

"Then _how _did my foster parents' kid send me a letter today?" I toss him the envelope. Professor Xavier examines it carefully.

" Jamie?" He says slowly.

"Huh?"

"This is postmarked Friday." He lets his words sink in. "You didn't arrive until midday _Sunday_." He lets his words sink in.

"How did she know I would be _here_ on Tuesday? _I_ didn't know I would be here Tuesday." I think for a minute. _Is she a mutant? _

"She could be. I could check, though, with Cerebro." I look at him. "Do you want to come with me?"

I wait outside the room as the professor works the machine. I want to read what Shauna wants more than I want to stand and watch the professor.

I open the envelope and unfold the paper with great care.

**_Love from a Child _**

I am thinking of two syllables

thinking—not saying

If I say it, it's true, and

against which I am praying.

A void—I'll tell you, has replaced

my beating organ.

Without you here, every day,

our lives will grow so boring.

I am thinking of three words

eight letters in all

Will you remember them when you

decide not to call?

Will you sit down and remember

the words I say?

Or will I be forgotten as you

move along your way?

The two syllables are a form

of Adieu.

I wish the best of everything all

to you.

The words I want you forever

to know

Are "I love you" no matter where your life

may go.

I wipe my eyes as I realize the professor has exited the room.

"She's a mutant."

I bite my tongue. I know the very thing Shauna would love right now, but I don't say anything. I can't ask that. It's too much. Yet—

"Would Shauna like to stay here?"

"Could she?" I squeal. Suddenly, my vision sharpens. I hadn't noticed it went fuzzy. My cheeks are fiery as I recognize the head-shaking Professor Xavier is displaying. "I apologize deeply. I… didn't notice."

"You're allowed to make mistakes, Jamie." Professor X tells me.

"What?"

"You don't have to be perfect."

"I didn't notice your presence." I hang my head, but inside I am fuming.

"In your mind? I didn't enter it. I just knew."

"Knew what?"

"You despise failure."

Hoping to distract him, I confuse him. "Can she?"

"Can who what?"

" Shauna? Come here?"

"Your foster-sister? Of course, all mutants are welcome." I study the man.

"Can I touch you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I can touch you right? Unlike Rogue?"

"Well, I guess-"

I run and give him a hug. "Thank you," I whisper.

Suddenly he straightens. He puts his hand to his temple and I can feel the psychic tension in the air. "I have good news," he tells me. "Jubilee woke up earlier than expected."

* * *

**I hope this satisfies my lovely inkshadows who has been bugging me... : P.**

**Side note: I edited my previous chapters a couple of times, revising, mostly but with my "great" spelling it was a little necessary...**

**Please tell me your opinions!**

**Dancergirl51**


	4. In Which Demons Are Fought

**I know I am behind. I have the next six chapters written. Now, I just have to type and post... ****My life is a little hectic right now, so please cut me some slack!**

**Quote: "The higher you go up, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style." Fred Astaire **

* * *

_Chapter 4: In Which Demons are Fought _

I race to the hospital wing, where Jubilee is, in fact, awake. She was staring at the door as I raced in, as if she knew I was coming. I walk to her bed, forgetting my happiness on finding the room on my first try.

"Jubilee?"

"Yeah?" Her voice is scratchy, parched.

"How are you feeling?"

"Can you do me a favor?" I nod. "Stick a fork in me, see if I'm done."

" Jamie, would you like to start your training?"

I freeze. "What?"

"With Jubilee? She needs a little assistance." She clarifies.

Jubilee's face darkens.

"I'll only do it if Jubilee is okay with it."

"Get me out of here by Thursday. I don't care how."

* * *

Two hours later, Jean rushes me out of the hospital, telling me I could not afford to skip Logan's Strength and Training class. So, I made my way here, and now I am doing pushups.

Wolverine yells out the count as we do them. I am so winded I can't even whisper. "58… 59… 60… 61… 62…"

_How much longer?_

"78… 79… 80… 81… 82…" I glare at Rogue, who laughs at my expense. Some friend she is. "92… 93…" I look at Kitty, who at least has the decency to look winded. "99… 100." Wolverine jumps up. "I'll go easy on yer first day, M.G."

"Easy?" I mutter incoherently.

Logan grins. "Curl ups."

We drop to the ground.

"1… 2… 3… 4…"

_Come on, it would be too easy._

It's not right.

_You don't have to do this—_

Stop it! I won't!

_He's asking you to._

No he's not, he doing his job.

_Come on!_

"No! He doesn't know! Stop it! Now!" I yell to clear my thoughts. I open my eyes to faces staring at me.

"Everything okay?" Wolverine asks.

I twitch. "Yes. Why?"

"You were screaming, clutching your head, and rolling on the ground." Rogue volunteers.

I glare at her. "I'm fine," _ish._

"Fine?" Bobby scoffs.

"Yes."

"Curl ups." We drop again. "47… 48… 49… 50…"

I watch Colossus. He's having difficulties with reaching his knees, his metal body-armor in the way, I guess.

"67… 70… 71… 72…"

_Come on, you'll be doing everyone a favor._

No I won't.

_Can you honestly put them through this?_

Yes. We're all in this together.

_More than you know. _

I won't. I don't want to.

_Why not? _

"I don't want to!" I scream. Wincing, I open my eyes to another similar situation with everyone watching me.

"Class dismissed." Wolverine eyes me suspiciously.

"But, Logan! We've still got—" Kitty starts.

"Class dismissed! Jamie," his voice tells me to wait. Once everyone is gone, he starts in on me. "Is everything alright? Because if it's not, are you endangering us by keeping it inside?"

No, I'm _saving_ you by keeping it inside. "I'm fine." I lie.

"You need to talk to the professor again."

* * *

**Please bear with me as I post some more chapters. It gets better, in my opinion. If you hate it, tell me in a polite way. If you like it, please tell me so. If I have anything so horribly wrong, please tell me. I'll fix it. Thanks for your support and help!**

**Dancergirl51**


	5. Chapter 5: In Which I Am Examined

**Here's the next chapter!!**

**Quote: "I would only believe in a God that knows how to dance." Friedrich Nietzsche**

* * *

_Chapter 5: In Which An Examination Occurs_

"How often are you battling these internal wars?" The Professor studies my face for a twitch of something betraying my lie.

"Not _too _often," I trail vaguely.

_"How often?"_ Apparently, Scott hasn't forgiven me for last night.

"Maybe once a week." I mumble, out rightly lying.

"Once a week!" Scott jumps away from me.

_If he thinks that's a lot, how would he like the truth?_

Shut up, Mara.

"Why didn't you mention this earlier?"

"I got side-tracked with Jubilee."

"Liar," Logan picks up on it this time.

"I thought you'd kick me out." My voice barely makes a sound, but Wolverine hears it.

"Kid, _everyone's_ welcome here. Except certain… individuals. Your Creed among them."

I smile.

"Jamie, if it's alright with you, I would like to give you a mental examination."

"Why?"

"It'll be… beneficial… to understand your… position better."

"Are you able to give the examination, Professor. You look tired."

"I'll be fine. Are you agreeing?" He looks slightly offended.

"Yeah. I'll do it."

"We should go to the infirmary. You will need to lie down." We get there in record time; three floors and across the mansion in four minutes. Impressive. I lie down on the bed, and relax. Professor Xavier puts his hands by my ears and closes his eyes. "I can't do it with your barricades," he chuckles.

"Oh," I slowly bring a couple down.

"All of them," he pushes.

I sit up straight. "Why?"

"You have… tendencies similar to only other one person I know."

"And?"

"They are very dangerous." He lets that sink in. I lie back down. "Try to lower them all if you can. Then try to sleep. I'll wait until you're out."

I close my eyes and drift off.

I wake up, but do not open my eyes.

"…She has put up mental blocks around her power, like a cage, almost. It basically persuades her to use it, and if she does, it relaxes. If she doesn't, it gets angry. The angrier it gets, the more powerful and persuasive it becomes. If it takes over completely, she will not remember anything that happens during that time period."

"How different is she?" Dr. McCoy whispers.

"M.G.'s power is more like a cage, as opposed to a Plexiglas box with air holes. The box can be opened. The cage is always open."

"Can she access all her powers, then?"

"Oddly, no. The center of the 'cage' never gets out, and that's raw power."

"How much power are we talking about?"

"Four. Maybe if pushed, five."

"Ouch," Dr. McCoy sounds almost impressed.

"I didn't push too far. If I did, she could be in a lot more danger."

"_More?_ Why? Who wants her?"

"Magneto, presumably. Sabretooth was chasing her when we found her." I heard enough. I start re-building my mind-walls. "Jamie, I'm glad you woke up." Professor X says.

"How did you know?"

"Your psychic energy is flowing around this room. It spiked a second ago." Dr. McCoy quickly exits the room.

"My head hurts."

"That's reasonable. You went through a thorough mental examination."

"What did you find out?"

"Basically what you had said. There is a second 'Jamie' inside you. One that's all-powerful. If you let her out, you'll forget what you did during that time."

I store this conversation with the one with Dr. McCoy in my mind. "Am I dangerous?"

"Not exactly, but you could be, if you let the _other _Jamie out for too long."

"Who is the other mutant like me?"

"That is not for me to disclose. But, Jamie, please do not go asking for that information. From anyone."

"Fine," I scowl.

"I hope you trust my judgement."

_Of course I do. One day gives you a lot of time for good, bonding, trusting relationships to form. Trust. What a… binding word. An incriminating word. A word I like to avoid. Couldn't he have said "respect"? Of course I_ respect _his authority and opinion, but_ trust?

He takes my lack of response as a "no."

"You are exempt from our 'relaxation' class today. You had a very trying day."

* * *

I wake up and go straight for a shower. As the water turns on, I think about my dream. I dreamt that Scott, Storm, Jean and Wolverine had left the mansion. They arrived at my foster parent's house. My foster sister saw them and fought. Pretty well, actually, until my foster parents called the police. I _know _something is wrong. I just wish I know what it is.

As the water turns cold, I step out and race to the Danger Room.

"Strength and Training will be cancelled today," Wolverine's voice calls out.

"Why?" I ask. Everyone stares at me: Rogue, Colossus, Kitty, Iceman, Storm, and Wolverine. "What?!"

"It's a surprise." Storm says gently.

"It's Shauna, isn't it?"

A flicker of shock on Rogue's face answers my question, and I'm flying to Xavier's office.

"Kid! Danger Room sessions are _mandatory_." Logan growls after me.

"Bite me." _I need to talk now, _I telepathically scream to the Professor. He's waiting for me when I burst into his office. "I need to go with them to get Shauna. I had a dream that she attacked, my parents called the police, and Shauna was taken away." Even as I say it, the details become crystal clear. "If I'm there, she won't attack. Please."

"You'll be in danger—"

"What else is new? Please?" I can tell I'm winning the argument. "Think of Jean. Scott. Storm. Logan. If not me, them."

He sighs heavily and nods his head, defeated.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! Don't hate me! Please review!**

**Dancergirl51**


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